I worship You, O Goddess

Rasa Ravi, 2021

O Goddess, thank You that I am no longer too shy
to express my intimacy, kissing Your petals of Beauty.
O Cruel One, don’t let me suffer when You depart from this body.
Don’t leave!
I feel nothing, I am a sterile cold ice cube, there is no life without You,
unless You shine in my heart, in Your heart.

I worship You, O Goddess,
I worship You in the mandala,
all my meditations are my exaltations of You.
Show no mercy.
I have no free will anymore and I am happy being Your slave.

I worship You, O Goddess.
When there is no me but You, O Goddess,
possess this body I am building for You.
Don’t let me suffocate in my pitiful thoughts – possess this mind.
It knows no love unless You possess it by directing it to Your very heart.
O Goddess, possess this primitive heart and set it ablaze with Your Love.

When You use the ‘I’ but not me,
when You move with this body but not me,
when You think with this mind but not me,
when You speak in this body by using the grammatical ‘I’ but not me,
when You eat but not me, when the food eats the eater –
I worship You, O Goddess, even more,
even if I am not sure whether I am or am not.
Maybe I am a tiny particle somewhere behind You
or just the remains of brainwaves bouncing off the wall.
O Goddess, I worship You with all the remains.

Even if I am not,
I still worship You through the words themselves,
spoken and still echoing in space.
The whole body is already Yours,
the speech, the heart, the mind,
all is possessed by You.
Because You cannot worship Yourself,
let those echoes still worship You.
Let the echoes of this body’s heartbeats still worship You,
even if the heart itself is completely possessed by You.
Let the breath still worship You,
even if it is already You who inhales and exhales.
I worship You, O Goddess.

When You enter the body,
when You possess this body,
when You come not as a visitor but a ruler,
a Cruel Beauty,
who replaced all-this-that-was-me by Yourself,
who lives in this body expressing Life itself,
I worship You, O Goddess, even more,
even if I am not sure whether I am or am not.
Truly, this body was dead until it became Your slave.

I don’t need my own feelings anymore,
they are so minute, small-sized, neglectable.
Because if You enter the body,
when You possess this body,
when You take a glance at this slave,
O Goddess,
Your endless Love is everywhere,
Your feelings are ecstasy,
Your touch is sublime.

I worship You, O Goddess. I love You.